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Sunday, March 3, 2013

7 Ways to Find Out About the Guy Who Interests You

Are you single, and have you met a Christian man who stands out? Would you like to know the most important things about him?

If this man has shown interest in you (has asked you out at least once) and you want to know more, guard your heart and scrutinize him. Find out what is really important to him. Discover what moves him. Learn about his spiritual life, his friends, etc. Without yet getting your heart involved, watch him and see if you like what you see.

“Here are some suggestions for finding out what the man you are analyzing is really like:
  • Watch him with his family. How does he treat his mother, sisters, aunts, grandmas, and female cousins? This is how he treats women.
  • Ask him lots of questions about his family. (You can’t ask too many!) Find out what kind of atmosphere was in his home when he was growing up, how his parents treated each other and their children. Ask about any brothers or sisters he might have. Ask how they celebrated holidays and birthdays. Keep your ears open and your thinking cap on while he answers! A man’s family is a window into his background and what he understands about family life. (If he has a negative family experience, ask him about his goals for his own family.)
  • Find out from his friends and his pastor what kind of reputation he has. Do some “spy work” to find out, if necessary. Also check social networking sites to see how he represents himself to others. Don’t make your judgment solely from what he tells you. Some guys are very smooth talkers!
  • Observe his personal habits. Is he clean? Neat? Does he do any housework? Does he bite his nails? How does he dress? Is he on time? Does he drive like a maniac? Ask yourself, “Do I really want to live the rest of my life with someone who has any flaw I might have noticed?” (All men have some imperfections.)
  • What are his true values? Watch how he spends his time and money. Does he spend time in God’s Word each day? Is his heart attuned to the Bible and obviously dedicated to the Lord? Does he attend church faithfully? Is he involved in his church? Does he tithe his income? Is he generous in giving to the Lord’s work? Does he spend a lot of his money on himself—clothes, car, house, jewelry, books, gadgets, games, sports equipment, computers, etc.? Is he generous with his friends—including you? Is he willing to sacrifice his time and/or money to help someone else? Does he share his faith with others? 
  • On a date, does he treat you and your body with respect, not expecting any kind of physical relationship before marriage?
  • Do you like his manners? Is he courteous to all? When he eats, does he slurp his soup or talk with his mouth full? Does he appreciate whatever food he is served, or is he critical? Is he at ease in a restaurant? Does he spit in public or burp out loud? Does he treat you like a lady and act like a gentleman? Is he in any way effeminate? Does he “come on” to other women? Is he so jealous of you that he prohibits your having other male friends?

You should prepare yourself for a relationship with a man by doing some reading about men. All men are alike in certain ways. Don’t be ignorant!

When you have completed your analysis of the guy, and if you have found him to be a truthful, good, and godly man, my advice is this: Give a good man a chance.”* By that, I mean to continue to get to know him, enjoy his company, and ask God to bless your relationship. Who knows? Maybe Mr. Interesting is your Mr. Right! Let God lead you, and follow His leadership.

*The list is from my new book, His Ways, Your Walk. Please see the tab “My Book” for more about it.


  1. Son buenas formas de conocer si algun hombre que se interesa por una mujer. Espero que muchas mujeres solteras puedan leerlo y lo sigan. Y así consigan un buen compañero en su vida.


    1. Yes, I would like to think that someone will heed these ideas and have a wonderful future with someone special. Thank you, Tere.


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