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Between Worlds:
Essays on Culture and Belonging by
Marilyn Gardner was a fascinating read. The author speaks
transparently about her life as a missionary daughter in Egypt and Pakistan and
her cross-cultural adjustments, especially when coming to the U.S.A. She tells about
her years in a boarding school and the differences in Eastern culture and the
West. She is a “third culture kid.”
I thought she described her childhood very well, making
you want to go to the places, drink warm chai, and enjoy the group friendships
that you have in other countries.
This is what she said about boarding school: “But I had
left the safety of the unconditional love of parents and home. I was in a place
where my daily world was full of those as immature as I . . . all needy of a
mother’s love, care, and patience.”
She speaks of hellos and many goodbyes, of fitting in and
not fitting in at all. She talks about people not believing her when she tells
stories—true stories—about her life.
“Perhaps being rooted gives strength. Perhaps being
rooted doesn’t mean I give up who I am; perhaps it means that I securely use my
past as a bridge to my present. Rooted means I grow strong, like the sunflowers
that are growing high in our garden, faces raised to the sun.”
While the author wants to grow strong, she experiences
moments of disorientation, feeling like she never belonged. “There was truth in
what my friend was saying. I honestly didn’t know who I was. How could I? I
didn’t have the capacity to live effectively and honestly in my present world
while continuing to care for and be true to the world I had left, and loved, so
well and so long.”
“There was a time when we over-spiritualized and
downplayed ‘place’ and ‘home,’ convincing ourselves that since our real home
was in Heaven, earth really didn’t matter too much. But ah, when we got to
Heaven, that would all change. Except that we were young and Heaven seemed oh
so far away.”
When as an adult, her passport expired and she didn’t
need to renew it, she says, “I felt as if I had been robbed of my identity.”
I enjoyed this book immensely. It is well written and
shows how most missionary kids really, truly feel about their lives. The author
balances her quest for identity and belonging with her God-given blessings. She
has a wanderlust borne out of her traveling background, and she gladly shares
it with her own children.
Since I’m a mother to MKs, I found this a valuable book.
If you ever desire to understand third culture kids in a Christian context,
this is a good book to read. It’s fun, too! I heartily recommend it to any
woman in ministry, as well as to military wives.
I ordered this book but haven't read it yet. It's so funny--check out my blog post tomorrow, and you'll see why I'm laughing. Thanks for sharing yet another great book!
ReplyDeleteNow you've got me curious! I think you'll enjoy this book and really relate. God bless, Susan!
DeleteThis is something I wasn't aware of until several years ago when missionary friends with an only daughter mentioned it. We knew to pray for culture shock when going away and reverse culture shock when coming back, but hadn't realized just how much MKs can struggle with identity and which culture they belong to. Some seem to struggle with it more than others, but I would guess it is probably a factor to some degree for all of them.
ReplyDeleteI believe it's a factor for all third culture kids. A lot, of course, depends on the circumstances, ages, how many times they've been exposed to American culture, etc. Ours did very well, but there were difficult moments, especially during their college years. Even now, they do regard Spain as their home country, though they are both U.S. citizens. Thank you, Barbara!
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