Showbiz Kids

The nine-year-old gets chosen to audition for America's Got Talent.* She walks out, confidently answers the judges' questions, and then her sweet little voice is transformed. She belts out Whitney Houston's hit song "Saving All My Love" with the confidence of a pro. The audience stands to its feet, and a star is born.

A little ballerina grows into a lovely young lady with poise and talent to spare. She's graceful and hardworking, and her parents recognize she has the makings to go far in life. The teen girl has opportunities to dance with adult professionals in many different venues. She's on stage and loving it.

From the time he was four, he could mimick anyone—and he was the life of the party. What a clown! What a memory! This hilarious kid decides to forego college, and he moves to the big city and lands a job as a stand-up comedian in a small-but-famous nightclub. It's not very long before he's discovered by a talent scout and goes to Las Vegas, making good money.

For every success story, there are thousands of would-like-to-bes. But, let's just talk about the ones that make it for this blog post, okay?

I've watched it happen. A child prodigy makes his mark, and he's off and running. He is happy, his parents are proud, and things go well for a time. We could include many different areas—art, music, drama, speech, sports, and even video gamers and spelling bee contestants. Parents are pushing their kids to excel very young.

I'm wondering what God thinks about this. I also wonder about some of the values represented by success.

Does God want little kids belting out lyrics they couldn't possibly even understand? Does He approve of teen girls twirling around in short skirts, dancing with older men, and showing off their bodies? Is He pleased with young people performing in nightclubs and Vegas?

I've read several different books by people who succeeded in fields such as modeling and music. There's a very dark side. Do you know what goes on behind the glamor?

What about the pushy parent, who makes his child practice long hours, so that he can maybe, someday "make it"?

Where should the line be drawn between motivation and pressure?

Here are four things you might consider:

1. Priorities. In the Bible, there's one basic priority about education and talent. Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself (Matthew 22:37-39). Whatever activities we choose for our children should promote love for God and love for others. Everything should be analyzed in the light of these principles. (This goes for adults, too, by the way.)
2. Pressures. When a child becomes successful or famous, immediately others outside of the family want a piece of that child. There's pressure to do what others want, which may lead to less parental control or the parent caving in to meet expectations. Those expectations are usually worldly in nature and not godly. As Christian parents, it might not be wise to set up our children to be successful at a young age, even if they have exceptional abilities.
3. Peers. I don't know about you, but we wanted our children to have great friends who had wholesome values. Thankfully, most of our children's friends were respectful to their parents, diligent in school, and had wise goals for their lives. When a child is in a "star" situation, it's highly likely that his new peers will be older than he is, more worldly-wise, and their goals will not exactly be to please God.
4. Lost childhood. Sadly, most child stars lose out on a happy-go-lucky, play-centered childhood. Instead of going outside and running around in the back yard, they're practicing. Instead of reading, dreaming, and using their imaginations, they're studying. Instead of exercise, they're in lessons and studios. They're expected to perform, not just to be children.

Parents can choose.

When our children were young teens, we made some hard decisions. We said no sometimes and yes other times. My husband and I discussed our priorities for our children, whether or not certain activities would be good for them, and then made decisions. A couple of these meant they would not be able to do what they thought they'd like to do. (Later, in a Christian college, they got to do these same activities, but in a totally different atmosphere.)

I think it's important to decide for your gifted child while he is little. What's most important? What will help your child grow up in a secure family atmosphere? What will guide him into loving God and others? How can you shelter your little one?

I've known several extremely gifted children with IQs off the charts, their innate talents very obvious. Their parents decided to let them be children. They encouraged their gifts—and challenged them—while allowing them to be normal in childhood and school. It's a hard balance, but I've watched parents do it well, so I know it's possible. All of these children are adults now. Some have become incredibly successful. They are well-rounded, fun, socially active, and their values are where they're supposed to be: God first, and ministering to others. Yes, they're using their gifts. But, they're also using their hearts. And, they weren't pushed into the limelight too soon.

If you have a gifted child, please consider giving him a wholesome, normal family-centered childhood and encouraging, but not pushing, his development. He'll be better for it.

*Generalized, fictitious stories