A
little while ago, I asked my friends about online dating. Thank you to the fourteen who answered my survey. While this is not
a definitive survey by any means, I believe we can come to some interesting
conclusions after seeing these results. Are you ready?
Q Have you ever put
your profile on online dating sites?
A Yes 43%
No 57%
Q How old were you when you put
your profile online?
A 18-25 50%
26-35 33%
35-45 17%
Q Did you actually physically meet
anyone as a result?
A Yes, more than one
person 33%
No 67%
Q Was it a Christian dating
site?
A Yes 50%
No 50%
Q Would you recommend online
dating to others?
A Yes, definitely 8%
Yes, but with cautions 33%
No 58%
Q Do you believe it’s a lack of
trust in God for a person to use an online dating site?
A Yes 46%
No 53%
Q If you got married after
using online dating, did you find out you were both …
A Completely honest? 50%
Searching
for love in the best way we knew? 50%
Q Did you find love?
A Yes 20%
No 80%
Two
of those who responded got married as a result of online dating. My participants were fairly evenly divided about putting a
profile online, using a Christian dating site, recommending online dating to
others, and whether or not they believe it’s a lack of trust in God to use
online dating.
Is it a lack of trust in God? I’m not sure
myself. I have always believed that, if a man and a woman are walking in God’s
will and it is His will for them to meet each other, then they can’t possibly
miss each other. God will bring them together. Could He use an online dating
site to accomplish that? Of course.
Should Christians scorn those who use
online sites? No. We’re supposed to be encouraging and loving. Each person’s
choice is his own.
Would I actively encourage young people to
put themselves out there? I’m on the fence on this one, as were my friends. Some
said yes, with cautions. Some said no. I still prefer face-to-face friendships.
But, as a manner of meeting someone ….
The Bible is clear that a woman doesn’t go
after a man. In fact, not once in the Bible did a good woman go after a man—only
bad women or women with bad motives. So, the man is to look for a woman. If he
does so online, is that wrong? Hmmm ….
Two of my friends actually found their
partners online. Yay for them!
The great majority said they didn’t find
love online.
So, what do you think? Is online dating
something you’d recommend? Why or why not? Or, are you on the fence about it—like
me?
If you’re interested in guidelines for
Christian dating and reading about Ruth, you might enjoy
these posts: Did Ruth Chase Boaz? and Don't Let the Big Fish Get Away .
There was a couple in our former church who met through an online dating site and married - they have three sons now. It seems to have worked for them.
ReplyDeleteI'm kind of on the fence, too. I wouldn't condemn it, but I don't know if I'd use it if I were single or if it had been available when I was. I probably would have been very curious about it then.
When I was in college, it was popular for girls to make lists of what they'd like in a husband - not hair and eye color, but character traits. While I think that helped us concentrate on the internal rather than the external, it's still limited. There are things I appreciate about my husband that I didn't know I would back then, so I wouldn't have known to look for those traits. So I guess either way, by conventional or online dating, you do what you can to get to know the person, but ultimately you have to trust God's guidance.
I made one of those lists when I was fifteen! It included hair and eye color. That shows how "deep" it was! I went back over it after I met my husband--in person--and he added up to everything except the hair and eye colors. :) I was so silly! Thank you, Barbara, for your thoughtful comment.
DeleteHonestly, onine dating could be a good and bad thing. Great article that covers pros and cons of that on this blog https://datinglodge.com/is-online-dating-worth-it/ As for me… I have spent a lot of hours on datings sites and apps, and it was really hard way for me to find a sincere person.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment, Garnett. I agree with you that one of the problems is sincerity.
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