How Far is Okay?

It sounds like a legitimate question, but “How far can I go?” actually says two things:

1. I want boundaries.
2. I want to push those boundaries.

They can be all kinds of boundaries:

• House rules
• Dating boundaries
• Modesty
• How much: alcohol, gambling, drugs …
• Business behavior

You may have already thought of another one.

I believe that “How far can I go?” is actually the wrong question. Yes, we want to set and keep personal standards, but we need to ask a totally different question:

“Does this please God?”

It puts all your rules, dress, dating, pleasures, vices, and behaviors in a completely different light. When your only desire is to please God, you will behave in a way that is His standard—and His standard is always higher than yours. Let’s look at what our heart attitude would be and then examine a few of these areas in that light.

The First Commandment says, Thou shalt have no other gods before me (Exodus 20:3). It’s repeated in Deuteronomy 6:5: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

Out of that love for God comes a desire to obey Him. Jesus said, If ye love me, keep my commandments (John 14:15). It’s a joyful, willing obedience. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous (1 John 5:3).

So, let’s apply this to our five categories:

1. Home rules—A child or teen, living under his parents’ roof, should do his best to honor and obey his parents. Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth (Ephesians 6:1-3).
2. Dating boundaries—A dating couple will understand that purity is God’s standard, and they will avoid putting themselves in situations that will cause temptation. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. (1 Corinthians 7:32b, 34a). Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart (2 Timothy 2:22).
3. Modesty—Instead of asking questions like, “Can I wear this?” or “What’s too low, short, or tight?” a Christian girl or woman will ask herself, “Does this honor God?” She looks in the mirror, analyzes the fit, and prays about whether or not the Lord is pleased with it—before buying. If she needs pointers, she can ask an older Christian lady who always dresses modestly. In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works (1 Timothy 2:9-10).
4. How much: alcohol, gambling, drugs, etc.—A person who wants to please God should investigate what the Scriptures teach about each of these areas. Let me suggest a few passages. Alcohol: And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit (Ephesians 5:18). Gambling: Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathereth by labour shall increase (Proverbs 13:11). For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows (1 Timothy 6:10).
5. Drugs--Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are (1 Corinthians 3:16-17). If you really want to please God in these areas, you will prayerfully consider what the Bible has to say and will get help if you need it. I can wholeheartedly recommend RU Recovery Ministries.
6. Business behavior—Pleasing God at work means honesty, integrity, and purity. Providing for honest things, not only in the sight of the Lord, but also in the sight of men (2 Corinthians 8:21). But as for me, I will walk in mine integrity (Proverbs 26:11a). Be not thou one of them that strike hands, or of them that are sureties for debts (Proverbs 22:26). It also means not forming close business alliances with partners who aren’t Christians. Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14)

God has a special standard for Christian conduct. But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation (lifestyle); Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy (1 Peter 1:15-16.

Instead of “How far can I go?” we should ask ourselves,

“Is God happy with me?”

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink,

or whatsoever ye do,

do all to the glory of God.

(1 Corinthians 10:31)