The Missionary Wives Survey, Part 2: How they help their husbands

Photo by: Sira Anamwong

If you missed the first part of the Missionary Wives Survey, either scroll down or access it here. I know you won’t want to miss any! 

If you had to choose ONE,

what is the most important way in which

you help your husband?

Four ladies specifically mentioned PRAYER as number one. Others said prayer and encouraging him are understood, and they went on to list something else. No one would deny that one of the most important ways we minister to our missionary husbands is through prayer.

Eight of the ladies mentioned ENCOURAGING HIM as being most important.

A new-to-the-field missionary writes, “We're both going to (language) school, which was our goal for the first year. But recently, we were talking, and it came out that my husband needs to go and accomplish something but feels bad leaving me to deal with our toddler all the time. So the best thing I can do is to encourage him to go have a Bible study or go investigate something ministry-related. Then he feels he's accomplishing something (besides language learning!) and I feel like I'm supporting him.” 

Two mentioned PROVIDING GODLY CONVERSATION for their spouse.

Along with encouraging, eight said they believe their number one ministry to their husband is ALWAYS BEING AVAILABLE TO HELP HIM.

"My husband rises earlier than I, so I have the coffee ready for him to turn on in the morning. He works so hard studying and translating, etc., so I try to keep the house running smoothly. I go on visitation with him and also help him brainstorm ideas for our children’s ministry as well as help with music during church services. Honestly, my life is very simple. I spend my days homeschooling, cooking, and cleaning, while often being interrupted by visitors. If the visitors include a woman, then I stop my normal activities and visit with her. Coffee and a snack are usually expected, so always available. I accompany my husband on all his visits and make my home available to everyone and hope they feel comfortable visiting."

“I help my husband by being available for whatever he needs. Part of ‘whatever he needs’ is also remembering that I am first and foremost his wife (and second is a mother). I try to always put him first and have time for whatever he needs. It seems I can never seem to get everything done that needs to be done, but I am available for my man!”

“My husband’s love language is acts of service. So, the most important way I can be of help to him is to serve him in whatever his needs are—whether that is keeping the house clean and his clothes washed, or making copies of church fliers or Bible studies, etc. This may not seem like the most important thing, but in his sight, it is. My willingness to serve him and do whatever task he asks me to do lets him know that I am on his team. I pray for him daily—for his testimony, for his studies, for his sermon preparation, for his language skills, etc.”

Five missionary wives said KEEPING THE HOME (and children) was very important to supporting their husbands.

“I have always tried to maintain a clean and calm home life, and I take care of the schedule so that he is always on time for all he needs to do. I try to be flexible when his schedule changes and to always be ready to go with him when he needs me.”

Two said it was very important to MEET HIS SEXUAL NEEDS. (One said it with a smiley face!)

Many of the women help their husbands in PRACTICAL ways:

• Office and secretarial work, organization—6 (One calls herself the “activity coordinator” for church and ministry.)
• Leading the ladies’ ministry—2
• Organizing children’s outreach, materials, and classes—3
• Helping husband understand a woman’s perspective—1

“My husband is the idea man. I'm the detailed, organized, planner one. Other than completing the bulk of the administrative/clerical work of our ministry (i.e. finances, correspondence, resource material), I feel that my biggest contribution to my husband is in anticipating and highlighting for him the method by which all his ideas and plans can be accomplished. I'm super left brained, so my ability to hammer out the shoe leather steps and methods by which the logistics of his right brained goals and leadings can truly happen has been a big asset to him. It has been really interesting at times and always fun to see how God put us together, so that we could more fully see every angle of a situation. We work together by each doing what we are best at, and God makes things happen!” 

This missionary wife and mother views her heart as most important:

“Keeping a vibrant, transparent, humble relationship with the Lord every day, confessing sin, repenting and growing in sanctification. Without this, I cannot help my husband.”

There's more! Find out some of the more intimate details about missionary life in posts to come. Feel free to comment about what you enjoyed.