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Saturday, September 10, 2016

She Asked Me, "Do You Think Your Husband is Handsome?"

This actually happened: a friend leaned over and asked me in all seriousness, “Do you think your husband is handsome?” I answered, “Of course!” Inside, I was laughing out loud. I mean, what kind of an answer did she expect: “No, I can’t stand looking at the guy.” Or . . . “I chose him for his looks. What did you think?”

Sometimes my husband and I worked together in summer camp and sometimes not. It usually depended on our kids’ ages. Often, my campers would ask, “Which man is your husband?” I always answered, “The handsomest, of course.” They would laugh and say, “No, really! Which one?”  

Years ago, someone else—who will remain unnamed—showed me a list she’d made for What I’m Looking for In My Future Husband. (She was in her twenties and had graduated from college.) She included: able to cook, good-looking, nice hair. I chided her, “Why does he need to be able to cook?” She answered, “Well, I might get sick, and I’d like for him to be able to cook.” Okay, that makes sense. I asked, “Why does he need to be good-looking and have nice hair? Aren’t these awfully superficial?” She answered, “When I wake up in the morning, I want to see someone that looks good to me. Can you imagine seeing someone you think is ugly?” Point well taken!

I’ve seen quite a few “odd couples” where, in my opinion, one of them is a lot more pleasing on the eyes than the other. But, you know what? When you get to know them as a couple, you begin to see what the nice-looking one saw in the “plainer” person. Beauty is more than skin deep, you know.

I think also, when you love someone, you see him through different eyes. It doesn’t mean that you become automatically blind to his physical features. It means you look at your one-and-only through “love spectacles.” You love this person. You love him (or her) as a complete whole. You love him warts and all. He doesn’t have to be perfectly dreamy—like the guys with makeup on in the movies. He is simply your dream man, because of who he is, because of the commitment he made to you when you married, because of love.

When you look at your husband, you look at his strengths. You look at his intelligence, sense of humor, cute smile, strong hands and arms. You look at his stability and responsibility. You don’t care whether or not he has hair on top of his head. You don’t care if he has a farmer tan. You don’t care if he’s getting old—like you are.

(By the way, there’s nothing more satisfying than growing old together. You share a lifetime of memories, experiences, and growing. You can almost read each other’s thoughts. You can definitely tell what he’s thinking when you look at his face. Your love has changed—deepened, grown, mellowed, and become more balanced.)

Do I think my husband is handsome? Absolutely!

Here are some of the traits that make my husband beautiful to me, from a biblical perspective:
  • When he said his wedding vows, he meant them. My husband has been faithful to me.—For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder (Mark 10:7-9).
  • He models the relationship of Christ and the church to me.—Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it . . . So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself (Ephesians 5:25, 28).
  • He speaks kindly, and he looks good to me, too.—Let me see thy countenance, let me hear thy voice; for sweet is thy voice, and thy countenance is comely (Song of Solomon 2:14b).
  • My husband exhibits the qualities of patience we read about in the “Love Chapter” of the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13. I am so thankful for that!
  • He shows compassion for others.—Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous (1 Peter 3:8).
  • He has beautiful feet—How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things! (Romans 10:15b) My husband is a preacher of the gospel. He uses every opportunity to share Jesus with others. 
My husband and I recently celebrated our thirty-eighth wedding anniversary. We took a picnic lunch and ate at a lovely tree-shaded park along the drive to visit some Roman ruins, about two hours from our home. It was a pleasant, non-stressful day of walking, talking, and enjoying nature and some sunshine after a week of rain. Afterwards, we crossed the mountain, returning to the misty, cloudy part of Spain where we minister and live.

Do you think your husband is handsome? Please comment and tell me why.

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