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The man has four children by a woman he never married, and he lived with her about thirty years. At some time, he decided to begin seeing another woman. He’s an elected president, and his “official partner” becomes the First Lady. She has a publicly funded staff and office. Then, it’s found out—by press snooping—that the president has been carrying on behind the First Lady’s back with an actress. Just revealed: the First Lady is no longer the First Lady, and she’s conveniently away on a foreign trip. It’s all over the news, blow by blow, episode after episode.
What’s wrong with this picture?
Well, there are a lot of things wrong.
Even if it were okay to merely live with someone outside marriage (It’s not. 1 Corinthians 6:18; Ephesians 5:3), he’s cheated on woman after woman. Of course, the women had no legal claim to him in the first place, since he never committed to marriage.
I am certainly not close to this case, and I assure you, I have no desire to know the particulars. But, I’m amazed at how many women are willing to simply share a life with a man who won’t commit to marriage. What security does a woman have with a man like that? None.
Really, if he’s already committing fornication, what keeps him from feeling completely free to cheat? What security do the children have when Dad didn’t care enough for Mom to actually commit to her on paper? What kind of message about manhood, responsibility, and marriage is he giving them?
In this instance, the president of France has a record of baggage. His women (for lack of a better term) have all been educated, beautiful, and elegant.
What were they thinking?
The first thirty-year relationship was considered a “domestic partnership.” Why didn’t he make it a “married partnership?”
When their “partnership” ended, he was already interested in the next one, who moved in with him and divorced her husband.
That very romantic stage must have lasted very little, since it’s thought that his scooter escapades have been going on for two years. (He’s only been in office since 2012. Figure it.)
My purpose isn’t to slam the president of France. His sins are his personal decisions, and now that they are public, he can only blame himself. I truly hope that he will confess his sins to the Lord, get right with those he has hurt, and turn his life around.
The purpose of this post is to warn.
When you like a man, check his character before you get your heart involved.
Here are some things you can look for:
- Is he pure?
- Has he had past relationships, and have they been pure?
- Has he been married?
- Does he have children?
I am writing for Christian women mostly, so this will be important to you:
- Is he a professing Christian—with some “fruit” to back it up? (Matthew 7:17; Galatians 5:22-23)
- What are his moral convictions? Talk to his pastor and see what kind of a reputation he has. Unless the church is very large, his pastor will know.
- Does he attend church regularly? (Did he attend faithfully before you met him?)
- Is he involved in his church?
Watch the guy. Does he:
- Flirt with other women?
- Limit your contact with others?
- Watch sensual movies or look at porn?
See what spends his money on. Wherever he spends the most money (besides housing and food) is where his heart is. (Matthew 6:21)
- Is he generous—with the Lord’s work and others?
- Does he spend his money mostly on things for himself—car, clothes, gadgets, computers, gaming, etc.?
- Is he careful with his money?
Check out his reputation.
- Ask some women where he works, “What do you think of (name)?”
- Ask his pastor. (Yes, I already said that, but you’d be surprised how much heartache can be prevented when women take this simple step. Please do it!)
- Find out who his friends are, and see what they are like. (Proverbs 13:20)
- Watch his behavior with his mother, sisters, and other relatives. This is a window into how he treats women.
The Bible has some guidelines for dating. Basically, a Christian woman should only date/marry a man who:
- Shares her faith. (Exodus 34:16; Deuteronomy 7:1-3; Amos 3:3; 2 Corinthians 6:14)
- Has her respect already. A wife is commanded to respect her husband and to submit (yield) to him. A woman who marries a man she doesn’t/can’t respect has already lost something that God commands her to do. (1 Corinthians 7:34; Ephesians 5:22-24, 33; Colossians 3:18; Titus 2:5; 1 Peter 3:1-6)
Be wary of—I mean, run from—the guy who talks the talk but doesn’t walk the walk. Some guys are as smooth as silk and very tricky. And, one of them just might like you.
So, find out about his “baggage” and check him out with his pastor and friends. Save yourself from unknown surprises and future grief.
You’ve been warned.