So Disappointed!

I recently watched a video where a woman had ordered sweet iced tea and was given unsweetened. She threw it at the drive-through window and demanded a sweet tea, instead. They were actors, and it was all in fun. A “Southern thing,” the video said.

But, people are picky. The steak isn’t perfect. The ingredients on the hamburger aren’t exactly what the person had in mind. “I said without pickles!” rages a mom, when she could easily remove them herself.

Many years ago, I was chatting with a missionary mother from Saharan Africa. Her kids were having a few difficulties adjusting on their furlough. Her teenage son went out with friends. Upon returning, he said, “Mom, the pizza they left on their plates would keep my (African) friends from starving! I can hardly watch!”

Nothing’s “right.” Not our haircuts, grocery choices, restaurant food, shoe fit, hotel cleanliness, tailoring … nothing. We complain over the littlest things, when the rest of the world—literally everywhere else—would give their eye teeth to have the luxuries you have, even one of them.

You’re disappointed? Go live somewhere else. (I’m serious.) Learn what it’s like not to be able to turn on two appliances at a time without tripping the electricity. Live without heating or air conditioning. Cook all your meals from scratch and rarely go out to eat. Find out how to light the flame on the water heater and stove. Go from shop to shop and haggle with the natives for your food. Learn to live with variable electricity, Internet, and phone service. (I could go on and on, and I’m talking about modern Europe, which is my home, not third world countries.)

It takes so little to disappoint, and so much to please.

Let’s turn this around and learn contentment. It’s biblical, you know!

My own favorite example is a guy whose life story after he became a Christian reads like this: in labours … in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequent, in deaths oft. Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one. Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep; In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness. Beside those things that are without, that which cometh upon me daily, the care of all the churches (from 2 Corinthians 11: 23b-28). I’m sure you guessed I’m speaking of the Apostle Paul.

From prison, he wrote: Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. Paul continues, I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need (Philippians 4:11-12). Do Christians today know how to be abased and to abound, to be full, hungry, and suffer need? I’m not so sure.

The next verse is one of the most powerful in the world, and it comes in the context of knowing how to suffer: I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Have we learned contentment—the kind God wants us to have? Do we have joy—even when details are disappointing?

Let’s make it practical. The next time you:

1. Get food from a restaurant and it isn’t quite up to what you expected, remember there are lots of people who can never (or very seldom) have the luxury of eating out. Instead of complaining, pray for those who are less fortunate than you, and be content. Enjoy your food. (I’m not talking about when you find a roach in your sandwich!!! If you do, quietly let the management know.)
2. Are treated badly by store personnel, remember that most places in the world have a “take-it-or-leave-it” service mentality, and they lie to their customers. Treat the salesperson as Christ would have you to: in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves (Philippians 2:3b).
3. Have to wait a few minutes in line, remember that this is routine in most countries. Instead of squawking and sighing, try meditating on Scripture while in line. You probably have the Bible on your phone—or devotional apps. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night (Psalm 1:2). Use down time to enrich your spirit.
4. Suffer health problems, persecution for being a Christian, or any kind of emotional discomfort, look to the Lord. Remember, He can strengthen you. (See Philippians 4:13, above.)
5. Have any need, God promises to supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).

We all have a long way to go in learning the kind of contentment that Paul had. The encouraging thing is, it’s possible!

Let’s develop a thankful—and less demanding—spirit. (And, if you get unsweetened tea by mistake, either stir in some sugar from packets you have in your purse, or drink the bitter stuff, giving thanks you’ll not be ingesting all those calories!)

But godliness with contentment is great gain.

(1 Timothy 6:6)

Do We Need Fancy? Four Ways to Discern How Much

I’m sure you’ve been to events that were beautifully planned. Fresh flowers, coordinated themes and colors, door prizes … the works.

I live abroad, and my experience with these has been extremely limited. Keep that in mind, and let me tell you how it hits me when I return to the States and see the expense behind church events. Again, it’s probably because we would have difficulty even finding some of the trappings, that it impacts me so strongly. It is a cultural thing. I get that. But, bear with me as I share my observations. My post is also about priorities.

I attended a wonderful ladies’ day with a relative. When I walked into the church, the theme was evident. The women helpers—a whole army of them—were dressed in similar costumes. Themed decorations were everywhere, from the sign-up desk to the church auditorium. The whole platform was beautifully staged with items that supported the theme, including a large installation someone had custom-built for the occasion. We had lunch in another venue, and lo and behold, there were elaborately decorated tables, place settings, etc. The catered food was divided for three preferences: vegetarian, non-gluten, and regular. In the afternoon session, there was a seemingly endless drawing for at least ten door prizes. Some were very expensive, and others less so.

I have no idea if time, goods, prizes, paper, etc. were donated or not. Every lady paid a lot of money to attend. The speakers and workshops were excellent, and I am sure all who were there enjoyed it.

All day, I was calculating in my head what it must have cost to put on such a show—even if many of the items were donated. They had to buy some of them. They had to pay the caterers. They had to spend hundreds of dollars on printing—notes and special packets for every participant, the place settings at the meal, menus, etc. The decorations were fabulous, and I sincerely hoped they could re-use some of the colorful items that were used—plus the wood from the amazing installation on the platform.

I was also thinking how the day could have been simplified. How about only three door prizes? Or none? How about using mainly donated decorations—instead of everything new and exactly the same? How about simpler packets, place settings, and encouraging the ladies to take their own notes? I believe this one-day meeting could have been presented with a much lower price tag. It would have been every bit as spiritually beneficial—if not more so. Also, it wouldn’t have been nearly as expensive for those who wished to attend and therefore accessible to all?

This trend of “bigger and better” can be repeated in all kinds of other church activities—and in the home, as well. For example:

• Church dinners—They used to be done on site, with pretty color-coordination and homemade decorations. Many churches today rent hotel venues and have the professionals do them. This robs church members of the opportunity to minister in set-up, providing the food, and cleanup. Yes, it’s beautiful, but it’s impersonal and expensive.
• Men’s and Ladies’ breakfasts, brunches, retreats, etc.—I’ve already gone into detail on one of those. I believe all of these can be done just as effectively and much cheaper.
• Youth activities—Today’s youth are entertained with a myriad of costly activities. Back when I was a kid, most of our youth group special activities were very simple—like going skating or hiking a mountain. We usually sang and had Bible lessons, and we grew in the Lord. Today, kids pay $20 or more to travel to a special place, then they pay more to do different activities when they get there. A lot of the time, they don’t even get a devotional that day. I am amazed! On the other hand, I’ve known some wonderful service-minded youth groups in my day. You know what? Those kids were happy and healthy. They actually enjoyed serving others. They were having Bible studies and getting into the Word. And, those same kids are active in their churches today.
• Birthday parties—Little Princess and Batman host costume parties for their friends—every single year. It’s hard to imagine the money that goes into themed cakes, tiaras, clothing, decorations, photos, etc. Is this necessary? Every year? Isn’t it okay to only have family at some birthdays and celebrate together? Wouldn’t a picnic birthday be fine—with a few balloons? Isn’t a non-professional cake with candles child birthday-worthy?

There is certainly nothing inherently wrong with spending what you want on anything. It’s your prerogative. But, especially in a church setting and as Christians, it might be wise to think about these things before you decide how fancy to go:

1. What is the purpose of this activity? In most churches it would be for fellowship and biblical instruction and encouragement. In the home, it might celebrate a family member or occasion (a graduation, for example).
2. How can the decorations enhance this activity? Decide what will make your venue look good and enhance the theme. Shop at discount places and use what you have on hand as much as possible. You can ask your church members to borrow certain kinds of items that they may have. (They can put their names on them.) I remember a ladies’ conference in a church we attended years ago. They asked the women of the church to bring large summer hats (in style back then) and quilts. I forget the words of the theme, but the whole church had this old-fashioned picnic look. It was gorgeous! They even decorated the bathrooms. I attended one here in Spain with bottles of perfume on each table with a few flowers. (“A sweet fragrance” was the theme.) When people participate, they feel like they’ve invested something in the event. It breeds excitement.
3. How can we provide this activity in the least expensive way? What isn’t necessary? What can be done at a fraction of the cost? How can we include all of our members—even those who are poor—and allow them invite their friends at a minimal (or no) cost? (I’m still not completely sure what I think about charging a cover fee for church activities. That might make for another post, sometime. You can share your thoughts on this, of course, in the comments.)
4. Pray. This is the most important part of your planning. What does the Lord think? Do you feel He is leading you differently? If so, be flexible enough to change. Ask yourself: would Jesus do it this way?

I’m afraid we’ve gotten too fancy. We’ve lost sight of true ministry.

• And the lord said unto the servant, Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled (Luke 14:23).
• And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me (Matthew 25:40).
• Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you (John 15:16).
• The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed (Titus 2:3-5).
• Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world (James 1:27).

One more anecdote before I go: when I was a young mother, I attended a couple of ladies’ meetings. In one of them, the speakers floated onto the platform in diaphanous gowns in beautiful colors. My reaction was two-fold: those dresses are gorgeous, and looking down at my second-hand clothes and post-pregnancy body, I thought I looked horrible. I left the meeting in tears. Shortly afterwards, I attended another meeting. One of the speakers was the same who had worn a beautiful dress at the other meeting. Another lady also spoke. Do you know what they did? They singled me out—I have no idea why—and asked me to sit at the lunch table with them. It was incredible to be able to chat and share. I felt so humbled to be with them and, at the same time, so appreciative for the privilege.

Let’s not get so fancy that poor people can’t attend and enjoy our meetings. Let’s never lose sight of godly ministry goals. And, more than anything, let’s always keep our eyes on Jesus.

What do you think? Can we simplify? Any ideas you'd like to share from what you've done? I’d love to hear from you.