See.
Judge.
It’s a moment’s reaction. We might be wrong in that initial
assessment, but it’s already made.
We judge people by how they’re dressed.
And they judge us.
Let’s begin with a
history lesson.
- When the bikini
bathing suit was introduced by Louis Réard in 1946, no Paris model would
wear it. They simply didn’t want to show their navels. When the bikini was
showcased in a 1951 beauty pageant, the Vatican declared the swimsuit “sinful.”
- Dress for Success by John T. Molloy came out in 1975. It was a
manual for how a woman should dress in the workplace. It was the guidebook at the time, discussing
how to dress to be taken seriously. It became the dress standard for IBM and
other top companies. If you wanted to get ahead, this is how you dressed. It
included the “power suit” for women—dark color, skirt and jacket. All skirts
covered the knee. All necklines were high.
- In Forbes Magazine (2009), columnist Leah
Bourne wrote an article called, “What Women Should—And Shouldn’t—Wear In
the Workplace.” She said, “Everyone knows that you should avoid clothes that
are too tight or too skimpy. If your clothing is overly revealing, you may have
difficulty getting attention for your ideas. But baggy clothing that’s two
sizes too big can be just as detrimental. If your clothing is shapeless, you’ll
end up looking sloppy.”
- Today, these norms
are ignored. Even “conservative” newscasters and other TV presenters wear
low-cut necklines and short skirts. They might wear a jacket, but they’re
wearing a camisole-style top underneath.
What is happening?
Why have things changed so much in so little time?
I believe it is
more important than ever for Christian women to understand the message they
convey through their clothes.
I Googled “dressing to be taken seriously” and came up with
different takes from everyone from fashion editors and bloggers to business
people. I kept reading words like: appropriate, dressy, basic, elegant, modest,
and even feminine. Each site made the same point: dressing too flashy (colors,
cut, sequins, low, tight, etc.) is distracting. If you want to being taken seriously,
be covered up, not too trendy, and not too brightly colored.
In one interesting
post, a woman boss experimented and decided to wear the usually taboo pink,
floral prints, and other feminine touches to work. The men in her office
immediately started opening doors for her and treating her like a lady. Another
younger woman in the same department started to dress feminine as well. The
same thing happened to her. After a while, other women in the office followed
and changed their dress to softer colors. The lady boss did say that the
clothing both of them wore was modest, not short, low-cut, or revealing. (http://www.thefemininewoman.com/2010/08/dressing-feminine-in-the-workplace-and-being-taken-seriously)
What about
in the every-day sector?
Most women want to be taken seriously there, too.
So, why do
Christian women throw out the old norms? Why do they dress in provocative
clothing? Why do they go out in public showing a lot of skin?
I’m sure it’s not their intention to be provocative. I think
that a lot of women don’t give dress a second thought. After all, “all” their
friends are wearing strappy little tops and shorts this summer. And dresses are
short this year.
Trends in clothing are changing fast! In only the last
sixty-seven years, the world has gone
from being scandalized to show a belly button to the most immodest ideas possible.
The Christian world, unfortunately, has followed.
To give just one example, I remember when no godly
Christian young lady would have worn an immodest wedding gown. The beautiful
white wedding dress signified purity and virginity. They all had some kind of
sleeves or were demurely sleeveless. They had modest necklines and covered backs.
Thirty-five years later, almost all the Christian wedding photos I’m seeing are of completely strapless bridal
dresses. The bridesmaids are usually dressed like they’re ready for a night on
the town, not for a sacred wedding service. (Yes, I’m aware that some sweet Christian
brides wear “more modest” strapless gowns than others. Still, a lot of skin is showing.)
It seems the
Christian world is copying the world’s world—and not very far behind it. What
are worldly brides wearing this year? Strapless dresses. What are their
bridesmaids wearing? Skimpy. What’s the difference between a Christian wedding
and a totally secular wedding?
Hmmmmmm . . . .
There are many
places where you can buy modest wedding gowns. (Yes, if you go to the typical
bridal shop, they will carry mostly strapless gowns. I went wedding shopping
with my own daughter some years ago. One bridal store boasted 1,500 gowns on
site. When we asked, not one had a
sleeve. One dress had lace straps.) If you want to find a dress that pleases
God, go online and search for “modest bridal gowns.” You will find many lovely
gowns to choose from and store listings in most major cities. The dresses are
not dowdy, baggy, or lacking in style. You will find all sleeve lengths and many
different skirt shapes. A lot of companies also carry a selection of modest
bridesmaids dresses.
The point I’m trying to make is that a Christian woman can dress modestly,
if she wants to.
Let me make a few
suggestions:
- Before you leave the house, look at your clothing in a
full-length mirror.
- Move a little bit—as you will be moving in whatever activity
you are going to do, be it sitting in church, working out, or picnicking on a
quilt.
- Ask yourself:
“Do I
look modest?”
“Is my
outfit appropriate for this activity?”
“Am I
drawing attention to any part of my body that I don’t want to
emphasize?"
“Could I
categorize this outfit as ‘sexy,’ and if so, is that the message I want
to send
to all who see me?” (If you’re married, you can ask yourself if
you are dressed
as you would like another woman to dress in front of
your husband.)*"
“Do I
communicate through this clothing choice that I love God?”
“When
someone looks at me, would he/she think I am modestly dressed?
Would someone
think ‘godly’ when seeing me in these clothes?”
“Would I
be perfectly comfortable if Jesus could see me in this outfit?”
(He
can.)
If more Christian women (of all ages) would look at
themselves in the mirror before leaving the house, and if they really want to please God, we would see more Christian
women wearing modest clothing.
In like manner also, that women adorn
themselves in modest apparel,
with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with
broided hair,
or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
But (which becometh women professing
godliness) with good works.
(1 Timothy 2:9-10)
She maketh herself coverings of tapestry;
her clothing is silk and purple.
Strength and honour are her clothing;
and she shall rejoice in time to come.
(Proverbs 31:22, 25)
Clothing speaks
louder than words. Let’s honor God.
*Not original with me. I
saw it on a poster.
