Self

Photo by: David Castillo Dominici

In the day of selfies, self-image, promoting self, one wonders, “Am I selfish?”

You bet we are!

Adam and Eve proved it’s part of our nature. Me first, you second—if I feel like it. Eve thought only of herself. She liked the looks of the fruit, liked what the serpent was telling her—that she’d be wise like God—and decided the fruit would be delicious. She forgot it would be deadly.

Then, nice wife that she was, she gave some to Adam, who only thought of himself. He wanted to do what Wife had done. Afterwards he blamed her—and God.

And, Eve blamed the serpent.

Selfish.

God calls it pride.

Now, I believe it’s healthy spiritually to have an accurate view of ourselves. We shouldn’t be down on who we are, since God loves us. If we are Christians, we’re redeemed sinners. (Jesus paid the price of all our sin when He died on the cross.) We are something, because of Jesus. But, we’re not something without Him. I will never understand His love.

So, what is pride?

• It’s the opposite of humility. A man’s pride shall bring him low: but honour shall uphold the humble in spirit (Proverbs 29:23).
• The dictionary defines pride as: “a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements,” and “the consciousness of one's own dignity.”*
• The Bible says, Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall (Proverbs 16:18).

God hates pride. The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate (Proverbs 8:13).

Pride doesn’t come from God; it comes from the devil. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world (1 John 2:16). When the serpent tempted Eve, he put himself over God, misquoting and adding to God’s Word and telling half-truths. He appealed to her pride: Ye shall not surely die: For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil (Genesis 3:4b-5).

Why is pride so dangerous?

• Pride gives us an unrealistic opinion of self. One of the reasons a pastor shouldn’t be a new, untested Christian is so that he wouldn’t become proud. Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil (1 Timothy 3:6).
• Pride causes us to look down on others. The wicked in his pride doth persecute the poor: let them be taken in the devices that they have imagined (Psalm 10:2).
• Pride influences our relationships. Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom (Proverbs 13:10).
• Pride causes people to speak wrongly. In the mouth of the foolish is a rod of pride: but the lips of the wise shall preserve them (Proverbs 14:3).
• Most importantly, pride keeps us from total reliance on God. (We tend to depend on ourselves.) The wicked, through the pride of his countenance, will not seek after God: God is not in all his thoughts (Psalm 10:4).

Pride is actually being selfish. It’s not only “me first.” It’s also “me most important.” The Bible says we’re to esteem other(s) better than themselves, in lowliness of mind (from Philippians 2:3).

The best example? Jesus. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father (Philippians 2:5-11).

It’s interesting that the biblical quality of humility results in God’s favor. Consider these verses:

• And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted (Matthew 23:12).
• But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up (James 4:6, 10).
• Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time (1 Peter 5:5-6).

It is so much better for God to lift us up than for us to be prideful.

Have you ever noticed these attitudes?

• I am smarter than she is.
• I am prettier than she is.
• I am able to do this, and she can’t.
• I have good taste, and she doesn’t.
• I am very conscious of my needs (material or otherwise).
• I should be honored for _____________ (whatever reason).
• I expect people to respect me.

When God says we should have a right opinion of ourselves, He doesn’t paint mankind with a pretty brush. He says, For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23)

That’s precisely why we need a Savior. And, that’s why we need to see ourselves as God sees us: sinners saved by grace.

May we have an accurate view of self and a godly view toward others. 

*Dictionary.com

Once Upon a Time

Photo by: Ambro

Once upon a time,* there was a sensitive little boy. When people called him ugly names, he cried. This caused more name calling, since his peers found it entertaining.

Once upon a time, there was a child who had a deep sense of injustice. He always felt sorry for people with problems. He would literally fight for those he felt were oppressed. He got in a lot of trouble at school.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who was afraid of almost everyone. She felt ugly and insecure. She was tall and ahead of her peers in physical development but behind them in age. A girl in school called her nasty names and made fun of her. The young lady wore glasses, had oily skin, and she felt very strange in the world.

Once upon a time, there was a child who was smaller than the other children in his class. He needed attention, so he acted like a clown. He often had his classmates and even the teachers in stitches. He was the life of the party. He actually liked his new role as the funny person. It made up for his lack of stature.

Once upon a time, there was a girl who was different from the other girls. She wore clothes that looked like they might have belonged to someone ten years ago. She didn’t seem to have a style. Her classmates began to mock her because of her clothing. She didn’t let them see, but she cried every day as she went home. This girl lived with her grandparents. She knew she couldn’t ask for more from them, so she suffered every day in silence.

Once upon a time, there was a boy who couldn’t walk. He used a wheelchair. Some of the children at school thought the chair was cool, and they would hitch a ride with him, by almost sitting in his lap. Others shunned him. They didn’t know how to treat him, since he couldn’t do what they could do. He couldn’t play sports or run or jump, so they acted like he wasn’t there.

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful preteen. Someone started texting her. He said his name was Alex and he thought she was pretty. He asked her lots of questions and made her feel important. She enjoyed the male attention. “Alex” said he wanted to see more of her—literally—and he asked her to text him pictures with less and less clothing. He asked her to do things she thought were weird. When she protested, he laughed and told her she was beautiful.

Once upon a time, there was a bully. He was bigger and stronger than the other boys his age, so he attracted a following. Those boys stroked his ego, and he exploited them. They all picked on kids who weren’t nearly as street savvy as they were. They belittled them in a variety of ways. They were especially hard on smart kids. Who did they think they were, anyway, getting A’s?

Once upon a time, there was you.

Did you see yourself in any of these stories? Did your heart go out to those who were picked on or misunderstood? Did you identify with the vulnerable or with the bullies?

I believe we’ve all been there, and our children are there.

How can we help our children? 

1. Be aware of what’s happening at school. Ask about your child’s day. Ask him about his friends. Be interested. If something bad is happening, it will usually come out, if you have an open, caring relationship with your child.
2. If your child has any issue (any meaning being small, having a handicap, being sensitive, maturing early, etc.), help him deal with his specific issue. Help him understand that a person is not less because he has a challenge. Point out someone with the same challenge who is doing well. Find role models for your child.
3. Educate yourself and your kids. Make sure you understand bullying, trolling, and sexting. Then, talk openly and candidly with your children about those things. It will help them to be more aware and also let you know if they notice any of these things. Warn them against carrying on any kind of conversation with people they—and you—don’t personally know (chat, phone, social media).
4. Be there for your child in a non-condemning way. Sometimes, because we want to “fix” everything, we step on sensitive children’s feelings. It is better to listen than to fix. Give the child undivided attention while you and he talk.
5. Encourage. Help your child deal with the disappointments of life with a “yes you can” mentality. Help him learn to depend on the Lord for his strength. Behold, God is mighty, and despiseth not any: he is mighty in strength and wisdom (Job 36:5).
6. Be an example—a transparent example. When children see their parents deal with their own problems and challenges in a godly and strong way, they learn from you. Let your children know about some of your struggles, and let them see how you handle them with prayer and the right stance. Children learn more from watching than from talk.

May God bless you.

*All stories are made-up but are typical scenarios young people face every day.